We all have an inner desire to be loved and to love one another. When we talk about unconditional love, we sometimes mention how dogs love their owners. It doesn’t matter the mistakes we make raising a dog, the dog still comes back and still wants our attention.
This usually ends the talk on unconditional love, which has always bothered me. This may be because I am not a dog and nor do I want to love like a dog. It also doesn’t teach anyone how to love unconditionally. I think a better way to talk about unconditional love and how to love unconditionally is to be honest and open up I learnt this from Dan story let me share it with you.
Dan met his girlfriend on the social network and they had a lot of conversations about love and their views on it. Dan own was very simple: “When he wakes up in the morning he chooses to love her.” He said this over and over to her. It didn’t matter how he felt about her or how she felt about him. If Dan just chose to love her every morning, then in his mind their marriage would last. If you look at the society today, everyone gets married or starts a relationship because they fell in love, lasting relationship is more than just falling in love, it’s a choice that has to be made.
Divorce or relationships end when the feeling subsides and neither person works on the relationship. This is how people fall out of love, so in Daniels’ mind if I choose to love someone then this removes the emotion from it. Understand, Dan still fell in love with his girlfriend later but had to make that choice even before he did; loving someone is about choice, all with the understanding that every day he wake up and chose to love her; that he chose to be devoted to her alone. If together we woke up every morning and chose to love one another, I figured we would have a marriage that would last, that would be affair-proof and one that we could both be proud of, says Dan.
When Dreams Shatter
Dan never thought that she would wake up and choose not to love him, which, unfortunately, for a year of their relationship, she did. After 1 year plus into their relationship, Dan wife-to-be confessed to him that he didn’t allow her to fall in love with him before kicking off the relationship. Dan said; ”I was devastated and, honestly, am still recovering from it. I couldn’t understand that if she confessed she loved me then why would she hurt me so much by telling me now that I didn’t let her fall for me. I did a ton of research of why women take time to fully fall in love, and all I could come up with is that she wasn’t fully out of her past, she’s already making her present to pay for her past.’ One thing is sure, she wasn’t suppose to fall in love from the beginning of the relationship, but with the single choice of going into relationship with Dan, Dan should have made her see more reasons to fall in love deeper as the day goes by and forget her past and for her, she ought to have made that decision too, she doesn’t need to fall in love straight from the first day, she just needed to be determined to love this person and do all not never allow her past speak through her actions.
Dan said; “My self-confidence and everything that I knew was shattered. On top of that I had to make a decision to stay with her, to continue to love her.
I never knew pain like this, and I didn’t know how I was going to survive it. I didn’t know how I could continue to love someone that wrecked me. Every now and then a phrase popped into my head and became my mantra, “forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us” (Matthew 6:12). I have said and heard the Lord’s Prayer my entire life, but just that one sentence gave me the will to move on. It now has a very special place in my heart.”
Finding a Solution
Dan continues; after a few days, I was reminded of another thing I have always heard: “Love keeps no record of being wronged”. This was hard because even after I chose to stay with her and still woke up every morning deciding to love her, I still felt I will be justified in punishing her. I was still broken; still slowly recovering my self-confidence back to who I once was. But I kept a record of the way that she wronged me and deep down looked for ways to hurt her as much as she hurt me. This was not love, it wasn’t unconditional, it was just pure vengeance.
Living in Forgiveness
Not too long, we both loved each other unconditionally and still swimming in the pool of love. I forgave her for not loving me for the whole one year as I wished and she forgave me for the way I treated her in those few days after her confession. I have come to realize that you cannot have unconditional love without forgiveness.
FOOTNOTE: You simply cannot have love without forgiveness and real love. True love keeps no record of wrongs. Love isn’t only something that you feel, it is a choice and it isn’t about you. If love is what you can get out of another person, then it isn’t love, it is want. If you are not fully balanced from the trauma of past relationship, then don’t say yes to Him or Her and if you’ve already started another relationship, give your best, don’t let Him or Her suffer for your EX mistakes. The answer to the question of: How to love unconditionally is loving unselfishly, forgiving the unforgivable and keeping no record of it.
We don’t deserve anything, but He loves us unconditionally. The wrongs that we have done are bought by the death of Jesus on the cross so that instead of harboring our wrongs, instead of holding them above our head, Jesus gave us freedom from them. The best example of unconditional love is what God did through Jesus on the cross. Instead of doing what Dan thought of doing, keeping a record of wrong or having vengeance on us because of the wrong, God did something different; He forgave, and he unselfishly died for it so that there would not be a record of it.
If you want to a lasting love,
then please pray this prayer with me:
Lord, teach me how to love like you, how to forgive; how to keep no records of wrongs. Teach me how to love unconditionally, unselfishly and how to forgive the wrongs that have been done to me. Teach me how to forget my past and avoid allowing it to affect my present relationship or next relationship. You took my wrongs and you died for them. I thank you for that. I invite you into my life to show me how to love those around me. Please show me your unconditional love. Amen.
If you prayed that prayer, please type Amen. God Bless.