For instance: “Mark, so many ladies would go to any extent to keep their relationships because only few men are ready for a committed relationship, do you think sex is needed or there is more than sex to keeping a man?”. After this question and some others, listen to his response. For men, you can ask what she thinks about the rate of ladies going to the extreme to make their relationship work. During conversations, we can find out what people think only if we are not judging their response. You must develop a listening and non-judgemental hear to get the whole truth. Desperation would only put you in trouble. So before you say Yes, be sure about his or her value system. Yes, some people can pretend but pretence only comes when you are proving too holy than Thou or judgemental, if you pretend like you are in support of sex to hear his or her view, it would extract the truth.


  1. Develop a strategy: Decide on how you would meet. You can either hang out together or visit a friend’s place but if you have a distanced relationship, agree to meet and decide on one partner sleeping at an hotel or a friend’s place.


Better still, if you can’t afford the strategies, try not to start a relationship yet. You need to be emotionally stable to handle a relationship. So many people are suffering in relationships and smiling. Be determined to live a sexually sane life and it would make more sense and open your eyes to more fault. Sex binds you together even after a break up, that why many can’t recover from past relationships, it’s called soul ties. Go ahead and make it work.


Choose to live healthy and stay purified!


About the Author NikeFolagbade

  • Very educative! Personal vision, spiritual focus, clarity of the future, emotional security/intelligence, determination and self-worth are the parameters to consider before entering and during a relationship so as to avoid premarital sex.

    Many thanks, keep the good job going!

  • it”s is very very( possible to have a relationship without sex) I had a relationship for two years plus believe me no sex no romance no kissing & we spent all most three years no sex

  • My dear sis, you have greatly well by putting this piece together. Enlightening, Educative and informative. More Grace.

  • Thank you Adenike, I have gone through all the comments and everyone here seems to be on the same page.
    It really pains me how premarital sex has become a norm. One of the challenges singles face is finding someone who will respect their wish of “no sex till marriage”. many have given in to it because of pressures from their partners.
    pre marital sex is also a precursor for extra marital affairs. If a single lady/man can keep himself before marriage, there is high chances of being faithful in marriage because they have mastered the act of self control as singles.
    The media is not helping matters too. Anyway, enough of the lamenting. What do we do?
    We need to blow this trumpet louder than the media! Every girl should learn how to close her legs till marriage and every guy should zip up.
    God will help us. I am deeply pained when I see singles engaging in premarital sex.

  • You are a blessing to those who have been torn, heartbroken, written off for life by those who feel they are God. You wrote such a powerful piece. Unfortunately for me I happen to find guidance on relationship at 26years when i have made so many mistakes, dishonoured God and now hate men. Pls dont judge me. It hasnt been easy. Im christian and have been praying to God for a change, and also to direct me to christian dating coach who would potray and exemplify what real Godly relationships should be like. Please is it possible that relationship capsule operates as a whatsapp or telegram group so that females can benefit better? its just a suggestion. I see many lost females like myself who need help but dont know who to go to. I hope that many females who wana genuinely change will embrace the light with your words. God bless you.

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