You are the reason why you are still single.
Yes, you are.
The overall essence of this write up is to show you that while you are single, you can still develop yourself, meet new friends and get prepared.
Let me speak to the ladies.
I know you have a lot of excuses as to why you are not at fault but somehow, I can still see you doing some things the wrong way.
Let’s say you are not ready to mingle. That sounds like a pretty good one.
So you are finding it difficult to trust again?
Or you are too busy?
Or you have been hurt many times?
Or you are afraid of loving too much?
As much as these excuse look pretty understanding, not learning the ropes to mastery can leave you defeated for long.
The moment you feel ready to try again, you may end up falling in the wrong hands not because you were not being careful but because you were not smart about it.
Intelligence is different from being Smart. Knowledge is different from Wisdom. Application does the trick.
Let me give an instance,
Helen have been through a lot of heartbreaks, she was sexually abused at a young age. Due to this, she became fearful of men. This kept her from relationships during her 20s. She never bothered to seek for help but she remained with the belief that “I hate men” and “All men are bad”.
In her 30s, she decided to seek for therapy, she grew better than she was with men and fell in love with Tony. Tony doesn’t seem to be serious either, he just want to play till he is ready.
Helen on the other hand, is getting tired and wants to walk away. Series of issues came up and they broke up. Now, she is not interested anymore but yet speaks of wishing to be in a relationship.
Let me highlight few things:
1. It is not easy to be hurt and abused but it’s your right to seek for help on time. The word is “on time”. You may have reasons not to seek for help but I would urge you to brace up.
She went for therapy at the age of 35 but she was molested at 16. That’s 19 years after. Well, I know it’s not easy but who that one don epp?
What about if she had seek for help at 22, learnt the module of building healthy relationships at 23-26, don’t you think she would have had a better chance with relationships?
2. She is finding it difficult to trust again and has decided to face her career squarely at 35. What do you think about that decision? In case you didn’t know, that decision can automatically keep me away from you.
3. Sometimes, she just laughs about being in a relationship again and how much fun it would be but you see if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I’m sure you have heard that before.
Recovering from hurt can be hard. I can tell you that.
Not seeking for help can mar your relationship thread because even when I tried a relationship again after my break-up, the anchor that was placed by my past kept haunting me.
1. Admit that you need help
2. Seek for therapy to get over the abuse and hurt.
3. Learn the basis of building open friendship even when you are not ready to love or trust again.
4. Become a master of yourself. Your temperament, personality, values, SWOT, love language, younique single proposition and more.
Why? It will help you know thyself and discover who can fit right with you.
5. Build open friendship. Why? You can decide to make a choice from them later on.
One of the mistakes you can make is to shut out men completely from your life. There is nothing wrong in having male friends, it becomes easier for you. Deciding not to date isn’t the issue because you may not even be ready for it but shutting out men from the Friends zone maybe an issue later on.
6. Your beliefs can also hold you down for long, so you want to be sure that you are self aware.
You see, relationships don’t work because you are a good woman, wife material, church girl and the likes. You can remain single even with all these great qualities. If you are not intentional in your searching skills, choosing skills, building skills and settling down skills, then you may be on a long road to the Cinderella story of your life.
7. If you presently don’t know your values and why it never went well with some people, if you want to learn how to get back on track, you can start by reading Ants and Flies Flow: How attraction Starts! IF YOU HAVEN’T OPENED IT OR YOU CAN DOWNLOAD HERE
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