Is it not tiring to give your all in a relationship only to end up in another disaster?

It’s easier when you have a support system that can guide you through healing but what happens when you are on your own?

Fighting may be your only option but with who?

It’s pointless fighting an ex. It reduces your worth to the minimum wage, pun intended.

For me, I was tired.

The first man made great promises but his attitudes didn’t make it better. Never willing to apologise or make things work, I felt like I was the only one in the relationship.

The second man made more heavenly promises but got confused along the way.

In all of these, I had my own flaws but I hadn’t seen nor known them yet.

The more I kept trying, the more it failed on a worse tone so I decided to pause and reflect.

What was wrong?

What was I missing?

Where am I ignorant?

Did you notice how I kept referring to myself and not my exes?

“Until you pick the lessons, you will keep making the same mistakes.”

Along the line, I focused on myself. That’s not too much of self love, I simply had to find my bling and reposition myself.

Here are the 3 journeys I made:

1. A self awareness journey:

Truth is, all those while I was basking in plenty love promises and hoping to settle down soon, I was completely ignorant of myself.

I didn’t know my purpose, temperament, values, strengths and weaknesses. I didn’t know my worth. I thought men were doing me a favour of loving me.

Oh! I didn’t love myself enough and I was partially disconnected from the true source of love —-God.

So,I began my journey and started investing in myself. I paid for courses that changed my life and also read books.

I read books on purpose, dating, marriage and spirituality. That was my scope as at then and I began to grow. I spent more time with my creator and I gave out value from the little I had.

I shared a lot about my journey and the red flags I ignored in my book; How I Got The Ring.

2. Healing Journey:

Trust me, in all of these, I thought I had healed.

Oh boy! Was I wrong!

I was still bitter and I kept stalking my ex online. A part of me wanted more answers and justification but I never got it. I pretended like I was fine but I wasn’t.

I had nights where I listened to soul music just to rock myself to bed in tears.

Memories flew through my mind in diverse colors like the rainbows.

Well, it took me years to finally heal and I shared the miracle that occurred after forgiveness in my book; “How I Got The Ring”.

3. Discovery journey:

All of the above journeys led me into self discovery. This is different from self awareness. The former is about knowing your worth and discovering your essence. It’s about contributing to this world and walking into a journey of extraordinary living. While the latter helps you understand your being.

There is more to who you are.

You can’t afford to keep wallowing in pain. Your mess points to a message. You need to find the you in YOU.

Relationships are great if you know what you want and stick with someone who shares same or close values.

I shared about how I met my husband, how I healed, how I discovered the patterns from my upbringing, environment and significant emotional experiences in my book titled How I Got The Ring.

You can check it out here.

If you will like to share your past and present journey with me, shoot me an email here:

About the Author NikeFolagbade

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