Every marriage goes through seasons of difficulty, whether it’s a lack of communication, unmet expectations, or emotional distance. In tough times, the first step to finding clarity and healing is admitting the reality of your situation rather than avoiding or denying it.
Facing the Truth About Your Marriage
Many people find it difficult to acknowledge that their marriage is struggling. They assume that admitting problems means failure, but that’s far from the truth. Every marriage has its highs and lows; recognizing where you are is the first step toward positive change.
Your current season may be one of:
- Redefining your relationship – adjusting to changing needs and expectations.
- Pruning and refining – where unhealthy habits and unrealistic expectations are being exposed.
- Remodeling communication – learning how to express needs and resolve conflicts effectively.
Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
While facing marital struggles, some people handle the situation in ways that only deepen the issues rather than resolve them. These include:
- Living in denial – Pretending everything is fine when it’s not, avoiding difficult conversations.
- Blaming your spouse for everything – Focusing only on what they’re doing wrong without self-reflection.
- Attacking your spouse during conversations – Using harsh words, accusations, or sarcasm instead of expressing your feelings productively.
- Involving outsiders constantly – Seeking validation by reporting your spouse to family, friends, or social media rather than having direct discussions.
- Holding grudges and keeping malice – Withdrawing affection or refusing to communicate, leading to emotional distance.
Why Communication Matters
The way you talk about your problems can either heal or harm your marriage. A sharp tone, dismissive words, or defensive responses can make things worse. For instance, instead of saying:
- “You never listen to me!” → Try “I feel unheard when we talk. Can we work on this?”
- “You’re always angry!” → Try “I notice you’re upset often. How can we resolve this together?”
Overcoming challenges in marriage starts with an honest assessment of where you are, avoiding harmful behaviors, and learning effective communication. Acknowledging reality is not about blame—it’s about understanding, adjusting, and growing together.
If you wish to have a conversation on handling the challenges of marriage, I offer therapy and counselling sessions that can shift your marriage; you can begin here: send an email to hello@nikefolagbade.com