Well, nobody is perfect but some people are not quite on a journey to finding themselves and marriage may just damage them more.
Red flags are important to note as it guides you from entering the wrong union. This is why you need to open your eyes and not blame your mistakes on love.
If only people will seek for help early, they wouldn’t be un-marriageable.
Just like we have many graduates that are not employable so do we have singles who are not ready for commitment or may damage another person.
These tendencies below can look familiar.
1. Intimidated by your money, fame or achievements:
There are some people who can’t handle your journey in life. When you get recognized or make more money, they become cold and jealous about it. If you are on a journey to relevance in life, you need to make sure you end up with someone who can support you rather than tear you down. You can find out from the words, actions and body languages if you are sensitive.
2. Always lying, insincere and pretending.
Have you met someone who lies about having strange and extra ordinary properties and lifestyle?
Or someone who always breaks promises and never remembers any commitment?
Some people actually lie all through their dating life when they know they can get something from you.
Don’t love blindly. Watch the patterns. Patterns are powerful.
Insecurity comes in different packages.
I haven’t dated someone who will kills me for not picking my calls after 3 calls. What if I was actually busy?
I see so many people engage in arguments over their partners not picking up on time or related. What’s the fight for? If you don’t trust your partner, let it go please.
People can actually be busy. If you are always thinking your partner is with someone else, it’s a function of insecurity on your own part. If it’s a consistent pattern your partner displays that signifies double dating. why are you still hanging on?
Insecurity shows up in how possessive and obsessive you are.
You get too jealous, envious or intimidated? It’s a sign of a deeper issue you need to get help for.
I had my own insecurities before and I had to work on. I mentioned a lot of them in my book “HOW I GOT THE RING”.
People who are insecure have gone through various forms of rejections, betrayals, abuse and disappointments in the past but rather than living that way, seek for help.
4. Hates your family.
Is your partner always speaking ill words about your family or lack respect for them? That’s a red flag. Whoever you are getting married to must be able to accept you and your family in one package. Beware of people who wish your family members dead or will never want you to support your family financially sometimes.
Abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual and physical in nature.
When you start giving excuses for your partner’s behavior, something is wrong.
Do not assume your love and prayers can change your partner from getting worse.
If there are signs of too much aggression, pride, over demanding and beatings/insults/silent treatment, you need to know when to flee because it will only get worse in marriage.
If you read this post well, you will notice that almost everyone is guilty of one, two or three of the patterns above.
What should you do?
Seek for help and embrace knowledge.
Going for Neuro-linguistic programming in 2015 saved me a lot from entering marriage with the wrong mindset, character and patterns. I began to understand why I was acting in a particular way and the effects of my past on my present and future if I didn’t stay responsible and intentional.
Any one can get help if they truly want it.
If your partner keeps saying they don’t believe in knowledge then you should not try to be the teacher because as much as prayer changes people, a rigid and stubborn heart cannot be managed in marriage.
Some people’s journey to change and transformation will only begin when their minds get opened to new knowledge and possibilities.
To learn more about becoming a desirable partner and rewriting your story for a better relationship, check this out: Become A Desirable Partner
Back to you, have you discovered these patterns in a partner before?