The last time, I shared expressly on how the lack of boundaries affects the home. Let us look at the
- IMPACT OF IN-LAWS INTERFERENCE.
So many people are yet to cleave in their marriage away from their previous family.
Interference from your family can show up in ways like:
- One or both spouse reporting issues to their family. When a spouse is constantly reporting to their family about the challenges in their marriage like conflict, sex, roles, expectations, etc., they will be inviting unnecessary interference from their family. Every conflict in your marriage is an opportunity to learn, understand yourselves, and grow. It is immaturity to keep expecting your parents to resolve the issues in your home. You are digging the wrong pit.
- Not setting boundaries with your in-laws: It is rare to hear of the interference of fathers in-law in marriages but it is becoming a big problem with the rate at which a lot of women interfere in their son’s home. It is common from the husband’s family. Why should you take permission from your mother before you do anything for your wife? Why should your parent approve decisions before you can take it in your own home? Why would a woman seek her parent’s opinion before obeying her husband? The worse part is when they are always calling for updates in the homes. It is always better for couples to set healthy boundaries and not act in a weak manner. Ignoring this puts your spouse at a risk with them.
- Permitting your family to disrespect your spouse: The rate at which some in-laws cause strife and division in some marriages is becoming alarming. This is definitely an agenda of the enemy. When your mother insults your wife and advise you to beat her up, isn’t that getting too far? When you father insults your husband because of his earning capacity, how else does honor come to him? It is important for couples to stand up and fight against these interferences that can ruin homes. I have seen in-laws who visit without informing the family and they come frequently to cause issues. These things are not godly and God frowns at it. Some even get diabolical about it.
- Choosing not to be friendly with your in-laws: Sometimes, the issues come from either of the couple. When you have a mindset that makes you behave unfriendly towards your in-laws, you could be inviting issues into your home. I remember how God had to teach me the wisdom in relating with my in-laws which has helped till date. Spend time learning about your in-laws, understand their culture, values, personality and expectations. Your spouse can control the unrealistic expectation while you relate with them with wisdom. But do not cause enmity by your actions.
The Bible is clear on this:
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Cleaving is an intentional act that must happen. You should discuss these things before and after your wedding and stay accountable to it. This is why premarital counselling should not be ignored incase you have belief systems that negates the rule of marriage.
Why is it important to set boundaries?
The enemy can use your family to set discord in your home through their selfish opinions, ungodly counsel and deliberate wickedness.
As believers, the Holy Spirit should be our compass and when you need external help, seek professional counselling and invest in your marriage. The enemy seeks to destroy homes via any available vessel and when emotions sets in, that person becomes the trap for a fall out. How do you deal with in-law interference in your home?
If you have found yourself in a situation where your marriage is falling apart due to ungodly in-law interference, you need to learn how to steward WISDOM AND POWER in your marriage. There are some people that must shift for you in your home and it doesn’t always have to be by constant confrontation.
Join us at the Warrior Brides Network to understand how to resolve these issues without losing the peace of your home.
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