These strategies have been in operation for a long time but some couples approach it with a sense of carelessness and hardheartedness, hence it becomes easy for the enemy to make it a pit for destruction.
I will group them under specific headings so it is easy to relate to them as a whole. The first strategy is:
LACK OF BOUNDARIES: Here are examples of how it plays out.
- Communication with your ex or crush: When the Bible says, two shall become one, it is really important to understand that cleaving is the first step to oneness. If the enemy can bring your past or people into your marriage, things will get messy. Having your ex or crush as a frequent call mate is a sign of danger. When things get messy in marriage, these people can seem like a better option in your mind.
- Not setting boundaries with the opposite sex. I have noticed that some men have a weakness around letting other women know they are married or not available for flirting. If a lady is giving you too much attention, wisdom says that you set things straight or discontinue the access. But leaving the door open for fear of making her feel rejected is a dangerous trap for you. You need to learn how to tell a woman NO. Let her find support elsewhere. Stop carrying their burdens into your marriage till they become too comfortable. This also applies to women who think they can have another man by their side when they need to chat.
- Seeking comfort from the opposite sex. It is normal to experience conflict in your marriage but you should learn to manage your issues well or speak to a counselor. You should not start seeking comfort from the opposite sex. Even your friends can poison your mind. People are always drawn to anyone who gives a listening ear without judgment. This friend might not judge your one side of the story but this comfort spot will make it difficult for you to deal with the issues in your marriage. You may find yourself provoking unnecessary feelings and emotions in the process. What if this friend has always been a good friend? This might look safe but it is better to deal with a neutral professional.
Why are boundaries important?
When the enemy wants to cause strife and hatred in your marriage, you will find yourself drawn to another person instead of your spouse and this might keep you in a web of withdrawn emotions towards your spouse.
A lot of people get married and start feeling they made a wrong decision. At this point, your mind is focused on a particular ex or friend you should have married. IT IS A TRAP. You can build a thriving marriage with your chosen spouse if you both commit to it. Conflicts is normal in your early years as it increases the ability to understand yourself and bond.
In building a kingdom marriage, you need to normalize having the Holy Spirit as your comforter and teacher instead of tilting towards someone who can lure you away from your marriage.
This is how strange men and women step into marriages. It starts from careless conversations and decisions.
And if your spouse talks about this to you, you are supposed to understand rather than harden your heart. This is how the enemy blows it out of proportion for you.
If you are currently experiencing a lack of intimacy and rejection in your marriage, I’m sure you have tried talking about it, nagging, and monitoring your spouse but these things lead to resentment, suspicions, and smarter moves by your spouse. There is wisdom to handle this and you can also partner with the Holy Spirit to guard your home against strange influences. Sometimes, these moves by your spouse are caused by darker manifestations in your marriage that are beyond YOU. You need to seek help fast.
Have you ever had to deal with an issue like this or what do you think?
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