When The Past Comes Knocking

Sometimes even in our busy days and admist our smiling faces and cool appearances, there is always something that keeps us depressed. Even when the person involved has forgiven us or the case has been resolved or we have lived beyond our mistakes, we sometimes just go into the blue mood.

Sometimes we even share our worst past with that special close person and it just bounces back on us.

There are moments when you have admitted your past and you are ready to move on and suddenly you meet someone that brings back the memory.

What about if your friend betrays your trust after you\’ve divulged your past to them?

Tolu and Ayo have been dating for 3years and Tolu never mentioned that she has once aborted. Ayo sees her to be an angel with an innocent past and he\’s so eager to marry her.

Suddenly, Tolu\’s friend comes along and her fears begin to rise. Would she eventually tell Ayo since she is jealous of her about Ayo\’s financial status?

Bunmi and Kolade are planning to marry in some weeks time and he has refused to tell her that he has a child with another lady he has broken ties with 3years back. He doesn\’t want to lose Bunmi but his past can guarantee a rough marriage if she later finds out.

Well, I can relate to how you feel and most times, we don\’t ever want to be judged by our pasts and mistakes. We want to be accepted the way we are and hope that our joy lasts forever.

Sometimes in life, we make wrong decisions and it hunts us every time we remember. Don\’t feel bad that you made a mistake being too loose with that man, don\’t feel bad that you spent all your money on that lady that broke your heart. Stop feeling bad that you slept with a married man or had a romance affair with a neighbour. The fact that you feel remorse about it, and have asked for forgiveness, God has forgiven you. The problem most times is that we just don\’t ever forgive ourselves. We keep a lot in the dark and it keeps hunting us down.

Yes, you did something bad but you can\’t keep letting your past judge you. Past experiences are there to teach us lessons. Learn to turn your pains into gains, scars to beauty and lessons into blessings.

Now you have shared this with an intending partner only to be rewarded with a withdrawal or maybe you have been in the relationship and this person keeps judging you by your lifestyle thinking you would commit such mistakes again, humans can be scared. They can betray you, and they can judge you but God can\’t. 

Don\’t get stuck in a relationship with someone who keeps judging you. If at first, your partner judges you, you need to understand the human nature while you work on keeping your standards and identity. Also remember to put the person in prayers asking God to help that person look past ur mistakes. However, if incase the judgement becomes a torture, you may have leave to save your emotions from being hurt.

No matter how bad my past may look, my partner never judges me, never. He has never said any word against me before and he believes so much in my future. He is willing to support my vision even as he pushes his.

So maybe your relationship has gotten lost in the process and you are feeling guilty and sad, at least thank God you saw the real person now than in marriage. I know it\’s not easy but it\’s worth it. Don\’t let your pains keep putting you in bondage. Better to have an ended relationship than a broken marriage.

So what happens when memories come flying in your mind, remind yourself of who you are now and what lies in your future. Don\’t stay idle pondering on those issues. Let it go and move on.

Take away everything that brings you sadness and pains, stay with what gives you joy. 

Let\’s look at another scenario.

You have gotten married to this wonderful person but you can\’t reveal that you were once a prostitute, cultist, rapist, single parent, armed robber et al. That could be hard to share sometimes but it is better to share than put your marriage at risk. Lets say along the line, the trace of the past begins to knock. Someone is threatening to tell your partner about your past, or you are still tied to your past that you can\’t give all to your spouse, why not let it out. Don\’t let a threat put you in more trouble. What if you have to part with money or your body? Don\’t try that path. Summon up courage, face the fear, scare it off and let it out! The end result might be bad but it\’s out of your chest. Expect anything but it would clarify your stands now than later. 

Forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself, it would constantly keep you in the past and in the pit of fear.

Your healing is paramount. It is well with you.

Choose to live healthy and stay purified!