(A Must Read) Reasons For Marital Delay Especially Among Christian Youths

I once spoke with a lady concerning giving her life to Christ and serving God. I told her that if she serves the Lord, God will give her every other blessing she needed, according to his promise in the bible (Matt 6:33) But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.

She replied that she didn’t really mind giving her life to Christ but that the problem was that most of the single girls she saw in churches had been there for a long time and still single and that she didn’t want to be in the queue of having to remain single for ages. I later reasoned along that line.

These days I have come to observe that most Christian ladies and even men in the church would pray and pray, fast and fast, for life partners, yet to no avail. Does it now mean that God does not answer prayer any more? Is God no longer faithful? What’s going on?The truth is that God is ever faithful, ever ready to answer prayers. He is still in the business of doing good and wiping away his children’s tears. But there are so many reasons why our young people these days, particularly Christians, delay in marriage.

From my personal observations and research, I discovered that some of these problems can be traced, to the following:

Un-preparedness for marriage, Ancestral tread. Unfaithfulness, asking amiss, demonic oppression, un-confessed sin and many others.

Un-preparedness for marriage: – there are lots of youths today, wishing and praying to get married, but in the real sense, they are not prepared for it, in the sense that they are unprepared mentally, psychologically and financially. This can be called immaturity. God cannot be so unfair as to take a beloved son of his and give to one person who does not even know what marriage is all about, let alone be prepared for it. What does Un-preparedness for marriage really mean?

Un-preparedness For Marriage As J. Allen Peterson puts it “Our young people are being given a definition of love by those who have not experienced it. They know so much about sex, little about love. Our teens rush into marriage when they are still utterly unready”. What does it mean to be ready for marriage? To be ready for marriage means to be mature enough to have established a sense of personal identity, to have discovered one’s self and to have developed a direction for one’s life that offers promise for the future. It means to be mature enough to be ready to spend the rest of one’s life with only one partner exclusively with responsibility; to know how to carry out one’s family duties like cooking, washing, keeping a home and provide for the family. To be able to control one’s emotions and not beat up one’s partner when provoked etc. If for instance, a lady is asking God for a husband and meanwhile, she can’t ‘even cook, would God not be unjust to give such a lady to a faithful young man who has been serving God faithfully and preparing himself? To be said to be ready, you have to be able to handle old parents of yours and your partner’s.

Some young people don’t even know what information about the family they should share with friends and those they should keep back. There was this lady who was always telling of everything that happened in their bedroom. Some other are not mature enough to handle crisis. Sometimes, God will allow time to pass, so as to allow one to learn one or two things like, Tolerance, forgiveness, patience and all that.

There are many girls but not many wife materials. So also are there many men but not many husband materials. You must make yourself a material. I know of a lady who used to boast to her friends how she would deal with her mother-in- law. Meanwhile, she didn’t even have any man in her life at that time. She was boasting that she would deal mercilessly with the mother-in-law she had not even seen. After a while, she started confessing that she would marry a man without a mother (i.e. a man whose mother is dead). In that case, assuming God had someone in mind for her, he would have to wait until the man’s mother died before she would get married, or do you think God is so unfaithful as to kill somebody’s poor mother so that one unprepared girl could get married? Till the last time I saw that lady, she is still unmarried.

Think of it, you just have to have what it takes.

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