For a great courtship to evolve, You need to grow and guard your heart thereby, taking careful practical steps that can pave way for a better understanding in relationships.
So what are the courtship rules?
Growing to know each other—-Friendship
Friendship is one of the best foundation for any successful relationship yet it is lacking in most relationships. There must be a playing ground for a quality friendship in all ramifications.
In Africa, especially in Nigeria where most married couples grow up in few years and then Jane (Wife) becomes “Mama Mary” or “Iya Bisi” while Kayode (Husband) becomes “Baba Junior” or “Daddy James”. How does this improve the communication process or intimacy?
Friendship connotes communication and openness.
Baba Mary or Iya Bisi is not respect. Respect is a deeper expression.
God isn’t interested in what you call your partner or spouse, he only cares about your respect towards each other. It’s about the inward part.
The level of friendship elevates the communication and freedom process. Deepen the friendship.
Why rush into a committed relationship when you are yet to know each other?
How can you meet a guy in one week and you are already spending a weekend at his house?
I wonder why a guy would meet a lady on the first day and on the first call or date, they start talking about how much they were in love at first sight.
Most guys are not even interested in the friendship stage but the truth is that you can choose to be different, it will surely save you a lot.
Are you one of those who think that waiting on friendship can open doors for another guy to take over from you?
Or you think friendship is a long thing and you are an ambassador of quick process?
Learning to grow in friendship involves understanding who you are as individuals. Creating a platform on this should be the next mode. Enjoy each other’s company even if its in a small park. Engage in activities that allows you spend time with each other.
Dates are expensive ba?
Men, before starting a relationship, getting to know each other on dates, casual outings et al doesn’t mean you should empty your pockets on expensive dates. Its not a must you go to Sheraton Hotels or KFC and the likes. It could be a short stroll or a small park (thank God for Amusement Parks). Well you may tell me Nigerian girls are all about money, Sure, you are right but that’s the best way to know a Real Woman. Her reaction towards that reveals what she wants from you. You don’t have to date every girl you meet. Some are just meant to be your friends.
Ladies, when you are invited for a date, don’t be too quick to jump on conclusions that he wants to ask you out so you must eat him up with your gang of friends. I know some guys do the toasting over the first date but be real. Am not a fan of ordering for it all. Why order for salad and wine when you have a running stomach? Why bring in your friends when you don’t even know the guy and his pockets? Grow beyond getting back on guys, not everyone are the same.
We need a positive mindset based on a healthy Character.
Don’t lose out on wonderful people by your first impression. You need friendship to grow. Dating is also an act of getting to know each other but in Naija here, dating even equals courtship.
It’s not only our government that needs change, we also need CHANGE towards friendship and relationship. Friendship is a continual phase. What are your experiences so far with ladies and gentlemen? Are you tired of the so called dates? I await your feedback.