Hormones run through our bodies and we will be deceiving ourselves if we think that we will never feel sexually attracted to someone we claim to be in love with. When you understand this ahead, it helps you stay prepared and create the necessary boundaries you need to create.
This article is for people who value their bodies and God’s law and are willing to wait till there is a seal of permission.
Is it possible to be very spiritual to the extent that you won’t feel lie having sex with your partner? NO.
Spirituality won’t take away your feelings and hormonal change; it can only guide your heart to live with wisdom. If you plan not to have sex, it means the both of you are in sync with that decision. If you assume that your partner won’t ask for it, that’s not a great way to start a relationship. Talk about it clearly from the start and be sure you both share purity values. With that sorted, the next phase is to decide on how you want to create boundaries.
- Choose not to spend time alone in the house or silent corners. You can choose to meet at open places or be with friends who share the same values too. Before I got married, we realized that the temptation we faced when we were alone was too much so we chose to meet at fast foods, events or stick with friends when we meet at home. This helped us because we realized that hormones flew through our bodies faster when we were alone. This also means no sleeping over or staying in each other’s house because of distance. When he traveled over, he stayed at a friend’s or hotel and that kept us sane at that point.
- We looked for creative ways to stay intimately in love without involving physical touch. Physical touch is one of my major love languages and I knew that tempting myself wasn’t going to help. We exchanged poems, did longer phone talks, video calls and used our other love languages to close the gap.
- Move with friends that share the same values so you are not tempted to fall into a trap with their mocking nature. Most of my friends knew my stand before marriage hence, we didn’t spend time mocking each other but encouraging ourselves.
Do not assume that you can control yourself when you are together. Fasting won’t help either because you would always want to cuddle, hug or kiss which can lead to more vices. We also chose to avoid any romantic touch gestures that could lead to more. Trust me, we understood our weaknesses and planned to secure ourselves that way. There were days we almost fell but having one person remind us of our stands made it easier to rise and live pure.
What other activities do you think you can do together from a distance to help you stay connected or how else do you think you can create boundaries?