Before you can claim to love someone, then you must have experienced that love personally.
Its important to discover yourself before discovering a partner. Where are you heading to in life? Which direction are you taking? What is your vision? What are your life goals? Do you have a destination or you are just assisting everyone to their own destination? Do you have a purpose for living? Are you merely exisitng or living wisely?
You cannot fanthom knowledge on your own. There are so much you can gain and understand from reading quality books and listening to messages that can enrich your minds.
You also need to develop yourself with Christ. A life without Christ is a life that would be filled with crisis. Build your foundation with God. That’s the only thing that can make sense in your life. That’s enough to lead you to your promise land. When you are spiritually sound, then you can build a stong foundation with God in your marriage. Does God see you as a friend or you are so far away?
Gain emotional strength. Learn to make useful decisions, take advises and most importantly, learn to forgive. Marriage is not for babies. Your partner would always, I repeat, they would always either conciously or unconsciously offend you and you just need to keep forgiving. How much can you forgive? Would you always run back to your parents and friends to report your spouse?
You need to learn to drop every ego and pride and learn to say ‘I Am Sorry’. Learn to take responsibilities. Stand to take correction. One problem I faced with taking correction is that sometimes I feel people just like to complain and maybe, they don’t understand me but the truth is, they only correct to show love and concern. I only needed to work on myself. Sometimes we have good intentions but may end up using the wrong approach which people read meanings to.
Don’t try rushing into marriage, “the best of God cannot be rushed”. You need to take your time to understand God, yourself before you can understand a friend or a partner.
LEARN to cultivate friendships and be definite on what your friendship is all about. Don’t make unnecessary friendship with a time waster. Don’t love a time waster. Be specific about what you want. Don’t be too desperate to settle down. Make sure you enjoy every bit of your singleness. Are you with someone who has plans for you?
Learn to be independent. You should be an asset not a liability. What values do you have? Can your husband or wife trust you with their children and family? What business are you into? What vocational skills or trainings have you gotten? If you don’t get a job for 3years, can you survive? Do you have marketing strategies? What usefulness can you give to the society? Are you relevant?
Are you so all about sex? Is that the only reason you are in a relationship? Is it just about his or her money? Some people feel that marriage is a comfort zone. They feel marriage will bring all the goodies they need, so they don’t need a source of income.
Do you know your roles as a man or woman? Do you think women are weaker vessels in all ramifications or you think you cannot be submissive to your husband? Are you struggling with accepting your identity and gender? Become the best of who you are. Use your gender to make positive impacts. Your beauty should attract people to God’s kingdom and not Satan’s doom.
Marriage won’t change your mentality or personality, it would only change your status. Learn all you need to learn now before it’s too late. Marriage won’t stop you from flirting, so learn how to develop self control. Marriage won’t conquer your usual state of Loneliness, learn to love yourself and enjoy your company. Marriage won’t stop you from meeting and admiring new people but how much can you handle their closeness to you?
Learn to respect your parent and sow seeds into their lives.
Whatever you sow, you shall reap. Whatever life you live now will either destroy or elevate your future. Don’t be a slave to the world, rather be a master to make things happen.
So before you get married, think of your motive and the readiness of your heart. If you rush in too early, you may jump out too quick. Don’t be too expectant. You may be disappointed. Get ready to face the good and the bad.
Can you handle in-laws and neighbours properly? Are you dating or courting? Are you just looking for the right person or you are becoming the right person for your partner? Do you think love is all about receiving and not giving? Check your understanding.
These are just some questions you should ask yourself but I await more from you.
So are you ready? Breathe in and out and smile. Take bold steps now!
Live healthy and stay purified!