Few years ago, I was so in love with a guy that I thought things would work out. I felt it was going to end in marriage. It was like the perfect kind of relationship you could have thought of. It was like heaven on earth. We wrote poems to each other almost everyday. That was the part of writing he loved most. He challenged me to write better. We used to talk of having diaries of poems in our house library or selling them out on auction when we are married. So many dreams we had then. He made me laugh. His thought alone gave me reason to smile while alone. Everything seemed perfect. I was so quick to tell my parents about us. After some disagreements, they finally agreed. Oh my!, he must have sounded perfect.
We go out on dates together almost everytime. I got a better view of the world. I used to feel some butterflies whispering “Lucky Art Thou’ in my ears. In my dreams, I see fairytales singing love songs to my delight. I must have been really dreaming I guess. It went on and on. He told me how much he wanted to spend his life with me. He told me how perfect I was to fit into his future. He filled my ears with the perfect words. He kept saying “I must have done something right to have a woman like you because you are out of my league”. That was the lyrics of a song he loved. Oh how much I loved his poems, I would always go back to it when i needed to feel cherished. It was all about love. Hmmmmn, the best one I ever wanted. The truth is that love is never enough to fill the vacuum.
Having the kind of relationships you want could be so easy at first. It could look so perfect in the beginning but you need more than that to survive. I remember praying that God should seperate us if we were not meant to be but I wasnt sure I could handle God’s answer towards that prayer.
The whole fantasy lasted for a year before things began to break down.
I want to highlight some reasons why some relationships don’t last.
The truth is that some relationships are not meant to be no matter how much we try because God sees the future and the next session to come in the relationship but we only see the present and the fireflies , the whole natural emotions that flows at first. We only see the sparks and fire that burns at first.
IGNORANCE can kill a relationship. The bible says ” My people perish because of lack of knowledge”. If you are in a relationship and you don’t know where its heading to, you don’t know some vitals things about each other, you dont know what God thinks about the both of you, you dont know how compatible you are, you dont know if you are a complete match or not, you don’t know how to spice up your relationship, then you are on a long thing. If you want score your goal right, you must stay on the right position, focus and strike. Keeping a relationship deals with KNOWING MORE about a person which deals with the present, talk about your past in case of any surprises, discuss about your future too. Your vision and goals should be in line with what God wants for you. Marriage is spiritual and goes beyond the physical.
Most of us just want to start a relationship and see where it ends or where it goes, we keep doing the TRIAL AND ERROR METHOD. We don’t even know what we want so we keep testing different persons. You should have knowledge about yourselves, past , present and future. You should also find out God’s mind toward you by praying personally. Learning to spice up your relationship also matters but it is only attainable with two people who are ready to work things out.
Some WARNING SIGNS are also there for us but we dont take to it. While dating this guy, at some point he began to act weird but I felt he would change. He didnt even want me to refer myself as his wife to be unlike before when he introduces me as his “Wife to be.” He would always say ” We are not married so stop assuming”. He also tells me stylishly to be careful because he could be doing some observations also and I was like “Really?”. He even stopped talking about meeting my parents as planned earlier and doesn’t ever want to hear about it. He got so boring and preferred to play his PS football game than to talk with me. So many things came up and I kept Saying “What have I done?”. I kept dreaming of us going apart and instead of asking God to make it clear to me, I was binding the devil, lol. Then it got worse, he would call once in 3days and if I complain, he would say ” You nag too much” , then it reduced to once in a week. I even tried to observe the days by not calling and he kept giving flimsy excuses. I should have known something was coming but I kept enduring and praying hoping for a miracle. We so much fell apart and then later got back together. It was just for some weeks before he changed location and his attitudes got worse and that was the end of the story. I saw the signs but I didn’t act fast. I kept hoping for a change but the truth is that it wasn’t just meant to be. My eyes had not opened to the reality. I was forcing myself on a man that wasn’t interested anymore. I did all I could but it would have been worse if I had to keep managing it.
We all go through some relationships where there are signs of an unhappy ending but we keep managing it. You deserve better. If you don’t leave that person that makes you feel less of who you are, you won’t know there is someone out there that can appreciate you.
Aside my experiences, lets look at other reasons: When you are in it for a selfish motive , it won’t work. If you are all about the money, sex , fame etc, then it would crash someday.
When you don’t try to make things work, it would also crash. Without fuel, an engine won’t work.
Pride kills a relationship.
Lack of good communication destorys. Without trust, a relationship is dead. I can go on and on but let me stop here.
Sure you can pick something to learn from my story.