“FOOLISHNESS is NOT an INSULT… It is a STATE of EXISTENCE… more like a STATUS” ~ Olakunle Soriyan.  
How shall I begin?… We are all fools. Yes, we are all fools but the difference is some of us decrease in folly daily while others mysteriously increase in folly daily.  
We enter relationships with our garbage of ignorance and folly. We confidently express our folly mistaking it for wisdom. This is very okay…  
However, the problem is that we think we can never be wrong. We think it is wrong to be a fool or to be wrong. It is this thought that is actually a fatal error.  
A lady is advised by the love of her life to shave her armpit hair and she thinks it is rude. She doesn’t think about the benefit of his request. She is angry that he thinks she needs improvement. Needing improvement equals “not being okay” to her.  
Now, if she shaves because other women shave their armpit hair, it is dangerous. It means she follows trends without reason. If she shaves because it makes sense to her, she is decreasing in folly.  
You see, even if you do something beneficial without reason, it is still foolishness. If you take your wife out because you see others doing it and you don’t have a good reason, you will never eat the meat of the outing.  
…Soon, you will divorce her because others are divorcing.  
The problem with most relationships and marriages is folly. Most people want to increase in folly (unconsciously) but they want their spouse to decrease in folly (consciously). This makes sense because everyone wants to associate with people who are better than them…  
The man wants to be able to drink late but he wants his wife to be home before7pm.  
The woman wants to be able to keep her salary to herself but would love her husband to make dinner once she arrives after 10pm.  
The man wants his call picked instantly but he is okay with avoiding his wife’s calls.  
The woman wants to be loved inspite of her extra body fat but wants her husband to exceed his normal two minute love making.  
Decreasing in folly is hard work. It requires energy and energy is limited. Energy can be invested in fun instead of decreasing in folly. Fun is sweet (on the short run) but decreasing in folly is bitter.  
“When sin is sweet, repentance is bitter” ~ Jewish Proverb.  
Women always say they want mature men. The problem with this is their definition of mature men which is “men who love them the way they are” but constantly improve themselves.  
He doesn’t complain that she’s fat. He doesn’t complain about her nagging. He doesn’t notice when she’s flirting because he is secure. He doesn’t control her, he allows her pursue her passions however stupid.  
He pretends to be immune to hurt. He never cries. He shouts back at anyone who speaks badly to her. He always takes her side even when she’s wrong. He is very comfortable. He doesn’t need her help or comfort. He is great in bed.  
No man, I repeat, No man can be all this. These are the lies women believe in.  
The men who most women call mature are men who understand women from experience. They know most women love lies.  
They pretend to have what they don’t because women don’t research if he loaned money for the wedding or to get the car. They know advising most women leads to nagging so they avoid advising them and find comfort in a girl friend somewhere. They know women are not worried about what they never discover so they ensure women never discover the girl friend. She doesn’t exist.  
They would do anything to ensure the girl friend remains unknown to the Mrs. Anything…  
They know women don’t love the truth, so they compliment her obese body. They know women like the bills to be paid with no stories attached so they loot if they must.  
They know if a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat unnoticed so they don’t bother about it. They prefer to be upfront about it and cheat first. They don’t bother about her passwords or checking her phone.  
They know the importance of being good in bed. Even when nature fails them, their pill wouldn’t. The statistics don’t lie. They know they must never ever be caught with the pill.  
They do all this without even knowing. This is their unconscious reaction to the standard women have set for them.  
A standard inspired by folly of perfection. Let him improve and let me remain as I am…  
The first step of decreasing in folly is acknowledgement of folly. I know that I am a big fool.  
I have proofs. The first proof is that I have made mistakes and I will still make mistakes. This is an attribute of a fool.  
I also know that I can reduce my folly daily. To decrease my folly I must acknowledge it and then pursue wisdom.  
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. If I fear God, I will obey His commands.  
According to Jesus, God commands that we love Him and love our neighbour. The bible’s definition of love is deep.  
Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited, does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoice in the truth; bears ALL THINGS, believes ALL THINGS, hopes ALL THINGS, endures ALL THINGS.  
Love never ends (1Corithians 13 vs 4-8a).  
I am a fool for I have never truly loved. I shall decrease daily in my folly and increase daily in love.  
To end without talking about forgiveness wouldn’t be wise. Most people never appreciate God and the kind people who have forgiven them because they never really wholeheartedly acknowledge their mistakes and wrongdoings…  
From the cheat to the liar, thief, murderer, wife beater, manipulator and so on. Acknowledgement of sin is the first step towards appreciation of forgiveness and acknowledgement also helps us accept that we are weak.  
Accepting that we are weak helps us to know that we must NOT put ourselves under conditions that will make us repeat our folly. Even if we ever come under such conditions by error, accepting that we are weak inspires us to call on Jesus who can help us overcome our secret sins.  
When we confess our secret sins and we truthfully acknowledge them… We will appreciate God’s amazing forgiveness and we will be more merciful to others.  
If you find it hard to discuss your past, it is proof that you haven’t accepted forgiveness and you are stopping your MESS from being a MESSAGE that will HEAL others…  
The bigger the sin forgiven, the more we love God.  
What a wonderful God we serve!   Written by: S.E Emmanuel

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